It is clear to me that I have used my past wounds from relationships as an excuse not to engage in life. I think that I have a lot of fear about my own competency to live up to my potential. As long as I was involved in a painful relationship, I sort of had an excuse to opt out of the bigger picture. I am choosing now to be done with the past, and for the first time, I believe that I am. I thought my next post would be about this really evil thing that my ex did to weasel her way into my day over the weekend. But it doesn't matter. It hurt, but the relationship is over. And I'm better for it. It's well past time to move forward.
I injured my foot during my senior year of high school football and was put in a cast. I missed two games and was supposed to miss more. I was convinced that the doctors were being overcautious, so the night before our game against our rivals, Emerville HS, I cut the cast off of my leg. I scored four touchdowns and two 2pt conversions, and we won the game. We went on to our first league title in school history.
I've allowed myself to be on injured reserve for so long that I've atrophied both spiritually and physically. I have not been behaving emotionally like the man I'm capable of being and was raised to be.
It's time to cut the f ing cast off.
I know what to do and I'm excited.