I want what I want and I want it now!
I want so badly to be the man that I am capable of being, having the fit body I'm capable of having, and practicing all of the healthy and respectable disciplines I value. I want it all desperately. But there is nothing that I can do today that will cause me to wake up tomorrow in that state. And that has been the rub for me. Knowing how far I have to go and how often I fail results in a hopeless resignation: the quiet acquiescence into mediocrity, procrastination, self medication. It is only when through constant awareness of the total journey and the promise of a future that we can succeed. But somehow every time I have bore down, gritted my teeth, and made months of progress, it is not sustained. So is it truly more patience that I need?
I believe the key is to live in the present, not to endure austerity for some period before I can relax and enjoy the fruits of my labors. This is where my approach and thinking has been wrong. Rather, it is to live today and everyday as if I have arrived. It is a lifestyle change that is needed, and that lifestyle can be lived out this very day while the evidence of that lifestyle is yet to be seen by me or those around me. We are called to live in the present. When I live in the past, I want to drink and forget. When I live in the future, I am anxious and without hope. Meanwhile, the present moment, which is all that truly exists, passes me by. It is in the present where we can live our lives fully. It is only in the present moment where God can meet us. There (here!) He awaits us.
Gabe I totally agree and understand you. I feel the same. I want results right now, not a week, a month or year from now...but I think patience is what we need as well as learning to love and value ourselves the way we currently are and the rest will follow, it'll make our journey so much more easier. I know it's easier said than done, but we must continue forward and focus on today. We're imperfect beings and I think we sometimes forget that. Keep it up buddy! I'm here to cheer YOU on!! =)
ReplyDeleteRight on Gabe. You express yourself well. Thank you for your honesty. Patience is not easy for any of us, some struggle with it more. But it's something that God wants to work in us--He says a lot about it in His Word. I know you are making progress. God bless you!
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